Posts Tagged ‘Life’

Hey! I have a crush on you!!

for the record, that's Bellatrix!

for the record, that’s Bellatrix!

College life: these super fun-filled moments of laughter, these super busy days with assignments and projects…friends and nicknames, classes and bunks, canteen, the bus-stop! Life seems so awesome. It’s like we have everything now… but time: to stand and stare! Amidst these busy times, we undoubtedly gather the best moments of life! That calling me Bellatrix for the super-awesome hair that I have got, that fighting for the Best Cultural Team Award, those till-dawn hours of coding in the moments just before project submission! Everything becomes a cherished memory, something that we wish to preserve for the rest of our lives. Seriously, these are the best days of my life (as yet). And amidst this, THAT one person that you have this huuuuuuuuuge crush on! That one smile that makes your heart skip a beat. It’s funny how he can make you smile: yeah, with no reason at all!! And the guilty pleasure in stealing a glance of him. Haha! It’s funny though! And isn’t that always tempting? That stolen glance; that one dance that you almost prayed God for! Yeah, I was tempted to have a dance with him! Silly as it is sounds! But you know what the best part is? I did get to dance with him! Not in the ideal ball-dance kinda way, but yeah, the crazy DJ-night dance in the college technical fest does work too! Haha!

remember!? haha!

remember!? haha!

Yeah, temptation it is: for an unexplainable beauty that it has in it. Probably because of the fact that it is always like that staccato flute that you hear late at night. You don’t hear it start, you don’t clearly know when it ends, but that little piece touches your soul… is incompleteness really that beautiful? Probably yeah, isn’t Monalisa also an unfinished work? Personally, I like incomplete. It always has that hope…the hope for a better ending, the perk of imagination and the ecstasy of framing and reframing scenes of probability… Regards, PS       This post is for Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda (Prompt: the post must contain ‘I was tempted’.)

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A woman…

There are two men sitting in the booth of a diner eating dinner together and talking. A woman sits outside in a parked car, watching them through the window. Who are they? What is their relationship to one another? What are the men discussing? What is the woman thinking? What does she do next? Write a story that opens with this scene and explores these questions.

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She looked at the men sitting by the window of the diner. And at once she remembered that day: the day Raj had proposed her. She remembered seeing him through the same window. He was exactly sitting in that same booth, in that same place, gathering his courage to ask the biggest question of his life; and his friend Rohit sitting by his side trying to boost his confidence before the D-moment.prop

Today, the two strangers and the familiar diner made her remember all of that again.

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She was tired and had started feeling a little stupid by now. Her eyes swelling and red, she felt pity for herself and realised, that no more, no more can she be strong. This time, it was way too much for her. She needed to let those tears take over her, at last. That’s when she decided to pull over. She knew not where she had reached by now, for she had only kept driving. She was too broken to think.

She looked out and saw the familiar place. She was outside the same diner that he had proposed her in, a little over thirteen years from now. God, she was so happy that day, finally had he realised that not all marriages break up like his parents’ did. Finally she was getting to be his, forever. All those memories rushed into her, filling her with all the nostalgic feelings of tears and smiles. She decided to spend some more time there, sitting in her porche, alone on her 13th Wedding Anniversary, all by herself, weeping, as her own life mocked at her. She peeped inside that diner reviving her memories. Yes, the place has changed a lot since then, but she liked the older place more. She had a strong reason for it, didn’t she?

She looked at the two strangers again. Her eyes found a couple sitting by the window, sitting right behind the two men. They looked young enough to be in their early twenties: when there’s still time for all the silliness in the world, when there is still time for all those enchanting romance, when the passion of first love is still breathing slow beneath their hearts, when one isn’t bored, when everything in life seemed fresh as a dew.

She remembered him now, her first love. Raj. She remembered those playful conversations, those cute little acts that he did, only to make her smile. Her smile meant the world to him, he said. Even after so long, the thought made her happy. She smiled. She remembered the time when he had travelled alone, all the way to Delhi on an unreserved train ticket. Just because she had said she was feeling lonely. Boy! That guy could forget his world for her, or maybe she was his world. She smiled again.

“You are my princess”, said Raj. “Oh, c’mon, you couldn’t even get me a chocolate today. Did I not tell you to get me a chocolate every time you come to meet me? ” saying so she pumpkinned her mouth. He loved that look on her face, when her cute tiny nose went all red with anger, and her cheeks started swelling like pumpkins. He laughed and asked “Is that how you weigh my love: just with a little chocolate?” “As if you don’t know how much of a chocaholic I am”, she retaliated. “My cute little princess, there’s not even a word as that, Ha Ha!”proposal

He let out his loud laughter. She gave a tight punch with her little fist on his shoulder, believing she would hurt him a little. But little that she knew, he even enjoyed getting those blows from her. “Did you kill an ant?” he teased her. She went all red, swelling more in her mouth. That’s when he pulled out five of her favourite chocolates from his pocket, teasing her again. “I really don’t know why people make these? Who eats them!?” and she, with a big broad smile jumped for them, snatching them off his hand. “Awww…!” she said, “Thank You…!”

Their giggling memories faded away from Ayesha’s mind, leaving her with big broad smiles, just like those when she had seen those chocolates then.

She remembered the day they had got married. Those final hours of separation seemed like a lifetime to her. She remembered herself feeling nervous for the first time; she remembered how she felt like a woman that day. Though she was surprised at herself that day: seeing how much she had grown; from daddy’s little girl, to the wife of her love. She was proud of herself that day. She felt herself take the first step towards being something that was the hardest thing for a girl to become: a woman. She remembered when she walked towards the holy Agni (fire), she was so afraid and nervous, that she thought she might fall. She remembered when she felt those scary feelings run away, just when she stole a glance of his hand, when she had reached her place for the day. She wondered later: at the power of love, how only a glimpse of his fingers had chased all her fears away, she cried a little feeling lucky to have loved someone that much. She felt luckier when she realised Raj loved her even more. She remembered all those holy feelings. She remembered how she had closed her eyes when he had given her something that her changed her life forever in: Sindoor. sindoor1She felt that chill run down her spine again; she felt her eyes get moist again.

She remembered those pooja mantras, she remembered those 7 vows. Yes! She remembered them! She remembered how she promised to be by his side, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poor, for better or for worse… And that paralysed her for a moment: how could she do it? How could she abandon him when he needed her the most? For, it’s not his fault that the accident has left him as a five year old in his mind? What can he do, when all he remembers now is his fifth birth day and his parents? That now longer was he a man: but rather converted into a 35 year old infant who gets mad at the littlest discomfort? What was his fault, that now, he has become what many people might call: mentally retarded. She cursed herself for using that word. But now, she knew what to do. 

She regained her calm, and turned into that 23 year old girl who loved Raj with all the passion, and in her mind, turned Raj into that groom who gave her strength, exactly 13 years ago.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She peeped inside the diner and thanked the two strangers for making her remember all these that she had almost forgotten. Sometimes strangers help us more than friends, she wondered. And drove towards her Raj, with her heart full of love, her face devoid of any frown lines, and her mind full of calm and tolerance. She had now become what every girl strives to become: a woman.

Regards,
PS

ps-this post is dedicated to all the Indian Women.

Rain and The Irony of Life

rain1On a rainy day like this, when the air is filled with that scent of wet soil, I see her take some time to close her eyes and feel the air that rushes in… I see her look outside the window, slowly extending her hand and feeling the shower between her fingers. I see her smile when those little drops touch her skin and dance away beyond vision… I smile.

There! I see them dance, I see them sing, and I see them pull one another to feel the mesmerising craze. I see him holding her hand, and smiling contently as he looks up.

I smile now. For, it is immensely beautiful to be the smile on her lips, to be the music of their dance; to be the excuse of his contentment. And, for a moment it makes me forget about the pain of separation, and it makes me forget about my increasing distance from him. He sees her wet hair and those pearl like drops on her face, and calls her beautiful; and I take pride in myself. I made her feel beautiful! I laugh now.

And then when the friendly wind makes me go here and there, teasing me with its changing directions, I dance that inclined dance. I rush down, hither and thither, with all smiles and dances.

A crazy laughter can take you to a heaven. And those little children! They make you forget you aren’t a child. So I dance my way down, rushing and wetting everyone on my way.

But then when I fade away with the last drops falling on the earth, it makes me weep. For it makes me realise-not every happiness lasts long, not every dance goes on forever, not every laughter echoes endlessly. And then it makes me miss him even more. What an irony! I roll down away from the sky, so that I can keep meeting him again, we bid goodbye to each other so that we can greet again, we separate because we want to be together, forever. rain4

And the people around me, they don’t even realise my pain, they are just happy to see the beauty of nature enrich on its own.

What an irony indeed! What is grief for one, is happiness to some other; what is failure to one, is victory of another, what is end of one, is beginning of another.

And I wait here, hiding beneath their footsteps, counting down time, waiting to melt away in your arms, as I accept every tear with the hope of smiling again…rain2_thumb.jpg

Regards,

PS

 

Papa, this is for you :)

Every person in this world has someone who he looks up to. Someone that he admires from the deepest core of his heart, and who, inspires his soul not merely by his words, but more by his actions. Who always gives him ‘that push forward’ at times when it is most required. In my case, it happens to be my father. My father is a tremendously jolly human being, one who is so passionate and devoted to his work, I doubt I will ever meet someone who seconds him. Who chooses not too many rules to bind us with: but he rather chooses to guide us with responsibility that comes with freedom. I must say I am a lucky girl to have been born to such parents who have let my freedom make me responsible and not by those stern rules that a person finds too entangled to break free.

And today, I am immensely thankful to this blogging community to have triggered in me the idea of writing about 10 things I have learnt from my father; because  otherwise I am too much idea-blocked (owing to which I blog very less) to have thought of such a wonderful idea.

My father is a doctor by profession, and if there’s something that defines him more than anything, is his profession. He prides in being a doctor, not for anything else, but for the service he gets to serve to humanity. We have a family joke about him that-if you leave him with a room full of patients enough for him to diagnose for 2 days, he will need no food, no water, and still come out with a smile at the end of the 2nd day. That, and I am so proud when I say this, is my father. He is passionate like anything about his work. For him – ‘Work truly is Worship’. I have never ever met anyone who enjoys what he does even half the amount as my father does. And that is the first thing to learn from my father-to enjoy what you do: that way you can always have a smile on your face and the satisfaction which is the core of every person’s happiness.  And maybe that’s the reason he has much lesser grey hair than almost all of his doc-friends. LOL. Anyway, jokes apart.

We have seen our father treat all kinds of patients. At times when he treated people who could not afford to pay him, forget about him taking his fees, he even pays those poor patients enough money to get all their medications. Very often I have seen people thank him- I have seen people worship him even more. And he truly deserves it. And here’s where I learnt the second thing from him-to place humanity in the utmost position and helps the ones in need. Often we find the saying that-if a lion makes friends with a lamb, what shall he eat? And my father, he proudly proves it all wrong and is immensely happy even after making best friends with his metaphoric lambs.

There’s the third lesson that I can add here- and that is-to treat each individual with humility and kindness no matter what religion, tribe, caste or monetary status he is from. I think it was quite evident in my previous description itself.

Besides being such a great and down to earth mature human being, what’s more likeable in him is- his bindass-ness. Yeah, you read me right, he is one person with so much energy and enthusiasm even youngsters will fail to show so much of exuberance. He is a damn jolly person and if you see him sad, it will be only for some time, and then you will see that killer smile again. Yeah he’s got one hell of a killer smile; anyway, so the thing to learn from him that I’m trying to put forward here is the fourth thing that he silently taught me- the ability to diminish his sadness into little ant-hills and deal all obstacles of life will a killer smile Winking smile he will be sad for those little moments, and then there you’ll see- my jolly Papa again, never even making us realise whatever bad he is going through.

papa

In him you will see the strength that every King in a perfect fairy tale possesses, in him you will find the princess-treatment that even those fairy tale Kings fail to show. Really, he treats us like Brats! Never saying a no to whatever we ask, and yet en thrusting us with sooo much trust that you will feel that dying shall be much better than breaking that trust, yes, he chooses to bind us through trust. And let me tell you, that is the most tightly bound cage you will ever face. And that’s when he teaches us the most important lesson that even many great men fail to understand-he teaches us the power of freedom, the strength of the chain of trust and the holiness of love. He teaches us that no person can be cared better, than by the sternness of trust.  And this being the fifth lesson.

I strongly believe that the parents of today must and must learn this. When I was in school I had read in Moral Science that Freedom makes people responsible, and yes, it is so very true.

Another thing worth mentioning about him is his honesty and down to earth-ness. You will be surprised to see how frank and open he is. Yes, I count that as my 6th point. No matter where you reach, you should always remember you are born on soil. That’s him.

The 7th thing would be his gratitude full nature. He says it’s because of his brother he got into medical and trust me, he literally worships him for that. And that’s not the only person. The way he extends his gratitude to all the people for all the little help they do, it’s really praiseworthy. For not everyone can be grateful now a days.

My father is not the kind who uses words and pieces of advice. No. You will need more than just ears to understand his greatness. You will need patient-full eyes and an observing mind. For he teaches with his life that- examples are better than precept. (Eighth)

The thing I’d like to count as the 9th is- he taught me how to ride the scooty!!!! Yippee!! Well there’s a reason I didn’t add this earlier; and that’s because I did fall a lot riding that scooty here and there. Well I know that isn’t his fault though. Haha. So there it is-my 9th point. And I am quite sure everyone would agree that riding a bike IS definitely a life-time achievement. Isn’t it?

papa blog

Oh yeah! How can I forget, when I was young my father took really a lot of care to teach me Maths and to make me learn those tables by heart. (So there you go! that’s my 10th point!!) yeah, I do count learning Maths as a life lesson, because had there been no Maths in my early age, I could never have gotten myself into AEC. Well now when I think about those days Gosh I still feel that itchy warmth on my cheeks due to those nightmarish slaps. Haha! If it hadn’t been for those slaps may be I would never have learnt those LCM and HCF sums. So thanks a lot Papa, again. And of course, ab thank you bol h rahi hu to…thanks a lot for the Galaxy Grand. I love it!

I don’t know if it would be fair adding this point but frankly speaking Papa ain’t very adorable all the time let me tell you! Open-mouthed smileOpen-mouthed smile. He keeps irritating us and mom, yeah he does that like a hell lot!  The way he would ask what he has to bring from the market only after getting in the car ALWAYS does makes my mom’s mercury rise up to sky, the way he would never let my mom get ready completely but pump the horn of the car way ahead of time when they are about to go somewhere, and the way he would always mess up the rooms right after we or mom had cleaned that up, yeah these do count as some irritating habits, but who is perfect? And in a way, it adds fun to our monotonous lives: a little bit of anger, a little bit of upset faces, they only teach us the meaning of better days. Besides he also keeps forgetting what Semester I am in, forget about knowing the name of the subjects I am studying right now, or which class my brother is, but these are, like I already said, the extra things that spice up Papa and our relationship.

Love you Papa, and a big thanks!!

Regards,
PS.

 

 

 

New day has come… :)

End of one, starting of another…, while the echoes of the good bye still has n’t faded away from my ears, I hear the deafening laughter of my heart absorbed in the welcoming of the new.

What I hate most, is change. Change is disturbing; it always forces u to organise from the first. The change that m going through is somewhat blurry and complicated. The end of one beautifully wrapped ugly truth that I found hard to say good bye to. But with the battles that I fought with my heart, the explanations given to my mind, the sympathies shown to myself, the strength and confidence I forced myself into, here I am. Standing confident, unhurt. Surprised at my own unattached- ness to the thing that I valued more than my life once.

This was a necessary change that had shown its importance way ago. But the heart, often takes time to grasp on reality and listen to the mind. But this change was good. I am happy and m proud of me .

Waiting for it to wash away the pain, to wash away my tears… and to give me the breath I had been struggling to take..!! Waiting for it to wash away the pain, to wash away my tears… and to give me the breath I had been struggling to take..!!

And as for the deafening pomp of the welcome of the new spring to my heart, I m afraid… so should I say, petrified? By the thought of being hurt again, for the fear of being a choice for someone, when for me, that one is the first priority.

While my friends advise me to let the reign of my extra-strong-conscience loose, I ask my heart, r u okay? Are you willing to let the spring bloom some more flowers? It sighs and says ‘yes. I have been waiting for such a rain throughout the cold discomforting days of winter.’
And there I go!
Stepping’ out… and feeling the fresh rain with my fingers… waiting for it to wet me with a refreshing shower. Waiting for it to wash away the pain, to wash away my tears… and to give me the breath I had been struggling to take..!!

Regards,
PS